A personal story of how knitting and crochet became tools for healing, mindfulness, and peace.
From tangled yarn to mindful moments. Growth starts in the most unexpected places.
The First Loops
I started knitting in 2010 as a high school sophomore. I struggled with tension and edges. My first project was a scarf. It sat unfinished for years. In high school, I tried a thousand new things. Knitting became something I could do, but I never really thought much about it. I eventually picked it back up as a freshman in college. I understood the process, but was still unsure about what I was doing. I frogged, or unraveled, most of the scarf and started again. I didn’t get more yarn. I just pushed through with part of a skein and total confusion. Finally finishing. With all my hard work, I was left with a small, lopsided scarf. Rookie mistake.
I hated it and thought about just throwing it away. But my mom loved it. She still has that little scarf tucked away somewhere.
There was a pride there. A pride in finishing it, even if it was hidden under the disappointment of it not being perfect.
That early pride of finishing something by hand, no matter how messy, stuck with me. Creating something from nothing is powerful. It gave me purpose, and so my yarn-loving journey started. Knitting beautiful pieces that my family and friends lit up to see. From socks, to hats, to even stockings.
Crocheting Yoda (and Other Beautiful Mistakes)
In 2017, I was gifted a beginner's crochet Star Wars kit. It was then that I found amigurumi, those cute little crochet creatures. My first project? A Yoda that was, let’s just say, not a looker. He was warped, and his eyes were not even. I found cuteness in those crooked eyes. Yoda isn’t exactly known for his looks anyway. He was supposed to have a round head, but let’s overlook that.
Yoda reminded me that trying something new doesn’t have to be perfect. That he was mine, made from my hands, and one-of-a-kind.
Becoming a Mother
In 2023, I became a mother. A journey that I thought I was prepared for. But like most new parents, there is no way you’re prepared. When I looked into my daughter's eyes for the first time, her eyes showed me a love like no other. I didn’t know there could be love that strong in the world.
But I struggled with myself. She was perfect and needed a perfect mother. Like many mothers, I wrestled with questions. Am I doing enough? Am I setting the right example? Can I help her grow into a strong enough person for the world?
Postpartum anxiety and depression are real. Even with the mindfulness tools I’d studied in college, I felt like I was drowning most days. It was there that I found some of the darkest days of my life. My mind was constantly spinning. I couldn’t sit still. I couldn’t rest.
I tried to use mindfulness and meditation. They had helped so much in college. But motherhood brings a hardship that’s often not talked about. The beauty does outshine it over time, but it’s hard to see that when you’re deep in the struggles of postpartum. Sitting still for even 30 minutes was impossible with my mind in constant motion.
Crochet as Mindful Practice
When my daughter was five months old, my grandmother passed away on Mother’s Day weekend. Already dealing with postpartum, I was lost. I think back on those days and still cry. She was a crocheter. And looking at the baby blanket she made me led me to picking up the hook again. I wanted to feel connected to her. And in that dark moment, I found softness.
Crocheting helped me slow down, breathe, and focus. My hands were moving. I was both productive and still. The rhythm of stitches and the small accomplishments all kept me grounded. I started to pull from my mindfulness background. I did breathing exercises while I worked. I did body scans. I found peace. It was mindfulness in motion, with something tangible at the end.
Why I Created Yarnful Mind
That’s how Yarnful Mind was born. A place where soft yarn and loops meet to calm the mind. I want to share this tool with others. It’s something we all already know: there is peace in crafting. The human mind needs creativity. But what if we use the moments to also craft mindful growth? Let’s not just make beautiful things. Let’s also learn new tools to help when the weight of the world is heavy.
Let’s Stitch Something Beautiful
It doesn’t fix everything, but it does help. I still have so much to learn. But that’s the beauty of this journey: growth.
I hope you’ll share your story with me too.
Whether you’re here to try a new pattern, rest your mind, or find your way back to yourself through yarn, welcome.
And if you haven’t heard it lately. You’re beautiful, you’re stronger than you think, and you’re meant to be here.
Want to explore more? Start with some free patterns or learn how to add mindfulness to your crocheting practices.
Hey, I’m Abby!
The hands and heart behind Yarnful Mind. I’m a stay-at-home mom, wife, and longtime lover of yarn. I turn to crochet not just for creativity, but for calm. What started as a way to quiet my depressingly anxious mind has grown into something much bigger: a gentle space where I can share patterns, mindful moments, and the slow magic of making.
Stitch slow, breathe deep, stay mindful.